Morgan has made her decision and jumped into the abyss with no guarantees. She desires Marc, but his attention comes with a price. Can she be what he wants? The fantasy of submission drives her lust, but when faced with the reality of being a sex slave it's all too real. Morgan must come to terms with her mind, her fears, and her body's desires because Marc is demanding she give all or nothing
Morgan Pellitier is a forty year old woman recently separated from her husband. She has gone online to find love only to find a man who wants to dominate her and she is helpless to stop him. Follow the series The Game of 51: Confessions of an Online Dater as Morgan IMs with men, manages her life, and lusts after a man she knows she shouldn't. In Book 3: Forgiveness she has agreed to become Marc's sex slave but she had no idea what she was in for.
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I’m constantly looking for messages from Marc and it’s annoying. He hasn’t contacted me in three days. I know three whole days, big whoop, that’s normal. I know it is, but I need his attention. It’s the attention, the conversation, the power of words. I enjoy the banter, the flirting, the slow revelations of one’s self. It’s the mystery of the messages, who is he? What is he? and Is this the one who can fulfill me?
I’m online yet again. I seem to be addicted to talking to strange men. These other guys are just a distraction from my loneliness when Marc is not talking to me. I’ve seen him online on the dating site talking to other women, trying to meet someone new. That doesn’t bother me, what bother’s me is that he’s ignoring me. He isn’t sending me a quick email to say that he’s thinking about me. He isn’t making our arrangement a priority and I’m not sure what to do.
I’m supposed to be his slave now. I’m still not sure what that means and I have so many questions. The good thing about the internet is that it’s a whole host of information and people willing to talk to me, answer my questions, help me. If Marc won’t answer my questions than maybe someone else will, like this guy I’m IMing with now. He’s a sub looking for a Domme and unlike the last poor boy sub I talked to, this one seems more stable, grounded, and surer of himself.
‘I have yes, since my twenties.’
‘Ever have a long term relationship or has it all been fun play?’
‘I’ve had long term relationships.’
‘I have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that a Dom would care about their sub as a person, or care about what they want, or who they are. Any insight you can give me?’
‘I can understand that. I want to find a Domme to please and do as they say.’
‘But that is you caring about what makes the Dom happy. Does the Dom care about what makes a sub happy?’
‘Hmmm. I assume so. But perhaps not overtly.’
‘Don’t you want someone to care about you?’
‘I want to please.’
‘What about you? Don’t you want someone to care about your day, your thoughts, your feelings? If you please a Dom what do you get?’
‘I get to serve.’
‘That’s it? And that’s enough for you?’
‘Perhaps.’
‘Don’t you ever get mad?’
‘No.’
‘See this is what I can’t wrap my head around. A relationship where only one person’s wants matter isn’t very fair.’
‘I do like to please. If I do as I am told then both participate.’
‘I am curious... Obviously... Trying to wrap my head around your world.’
‘I do understand, but if you’re not interested.’
‘I’m not a Domme. I’m just very curious about why someone becomes a sub and if they matter as a person to the Dom.’
‘I am a person.’
‘Exactly. You are. You matter.’
‘Yes. Thank you.’
‘So why not be with someone who knows you matter?’
‘A true Dom cares for a Sub.’
‘Maybe I should explain myself a bit better. I ran into a Dom online. Before I knew it I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I like rough sex etc. But I can’t see myself submitting to someone... I have to matter.’
‘So you are a sub too?’
‘I wouldn’t go that far. Just thinking about it... Maybe... I’m very confused.’
‘Seems so.’
‘That’s why I wanted to ask you so many questions. I can’t get my head around the power dynamic. I don’t know how I can trust someone enough to put myself into their power.’
‘I understand. I want to please. I find happiness in pleasing my Domme. She finds happiness in being pleased. Simple.’
‘Not simple. What about your feelings?’
‘As long as I can serve I am fulfilled.’
‘What about what you want? Need?’
‘A true Dom will make sure I get everything I need. I only want to please.’
‘How do you know you will get what you need if you’re not allowed to voice what you want?’
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